a fart machine and 2 flamingos

I love to laugh. I, like some I suspect, am willing to go the extra mile to bring a laugh to my own face as well as others. When I recently heard of a couple who had fallen victim to a fart machine while staying in the guest room of some friends, well, I had to get myself a remote control fart machine. After all, my mom and step dad were coming for Christmas.

We planted the fart machine under their aerobed, a few nights into their stay. You know, we wanted them to feel comfortable and homey so we wouldn't be immediate suspects. Late at night and from our bedroom we pressed the remote repeatedly. The farting device has 2 settings I like to call oops and oh my goodness. We pushed both buttons a lot. We heard whispers, but no one came out. In the early morning, before our guests woke, I pushed it a few more times. All woke and nothing was said.

We ventured to Mt. Rainier for some sledding that day. In the car, my mom explained that she needed to tell me about some odd going ons during the night. She preceded to explain and describe the unknown sounds from their bedroom. Her husband thought maybe the bed was filled with too much air so he tweaked it again and then again. My mom said it was an unusual coincidence to when I gave her a wool blanket for her feet, "that's when the noises began" she said. She went on and I was smiling the whole time almost peeing my pants. She then shared that she prayed a hedge of protection around their bed and the noises stopped. "It was like there was someone in bed with us." she said.

When we returned home from the Mt. the kids were put to bed and the adults stayed up to watch a movie. I re-planted the device under the couch. I pressed the button. Ted was on the couch and the rest of us in the kitchen. Ted said, "excuse me". My mom looked at me and said that was the noise from last night. Maybe it was Ted! I filled her with a cover of him not feeling well and needing the plunger the night before. She replied, "poor thing". Ted glared at me from the couch and I gave a couple extra hits for good measure.

We sat to watch the movie and I hit the oh my goodness button repeatedly. They sat wide eyed as we about peed our pants in gasping explanation. Then, when we calmed we explained and all of us had a good laugh. We got 'em!

My mom and stepdad left for the airport Wednesday night. They drove themselves and on departure Ted and I stood on the porch waving our goodbyes. You know, like good adult children. Once we got inside, they (unknown to us) drove on back and stuck 2 plastic flamingos in our driveway. I didn't make the discovery until the next evening. Oh goodness did I laugh. My mom has always LOVED plastic flamingos. As a young teen, she got a set from my aunt. I paid the neighbor kid 5 bucks to make them disappear, and he took the job. I confessed, as an adult of course, to my mom. So, those plastic pink birds always bring a chuckle and ironically, now I have my own set.